The Statute of Limitations

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I feel rather confident that I cannot get into trouble with this blog.  After all, in legal circles, there is something called the “statute of limitations”.  This law sets the maximum time that a person can be charged with a crime.  I believe it is normally seven years, but, at my age, I don’t care if it is seventeen, or even fifty, for that matter.  Let me explain why I bring this up now.

In the news this past week, there have been many stories about cheating.  It seems like the Houston Astros and the Boston Red Sox cheated their way to World Series championships.  They have been accused of stealing signs and it has been confirmed that they did indeed do that.  Two managers have been fired and one player, who recently became a manager, was fired before he even managed a game.

Sports cheating is not a new phenomenon.  Who has forgotten – Lance Armstrong, the East German Olympic team, Tonya Harding, Deflategate, Rosie Ruiz in the Boston Marathon, the steroids era, – and the list goes on and on.

I can sit here at my computer and tell you why cheating is wrong, but you have heard those cries before.  It is wrong and, if caught, punishment must follow.  I firmly believe the Astros and the Red Sox should lose their World Series titles.  But… I say that with a guilty conscience.

I, too, have cheated.  Is there anyone reading this who can honestly say they haven’t?  If so, I admire your integrity.  You see, back in high school, I was in the advanced classes and in the science curriculum; one had to take chemistry and physics.

I looked very closely at the value of both – would I ever need the knowledge those two subjects offered?  After a week or so in class, my answer was a resounding – “Never!” In chemistry, I already knew “absolute zero” was cold, “barometric pressure” was for weathermen only, and “valences” had something to do with electrons, but since I did not know what an electron was, I couldn’t care less.  It would take a “quantum” (get it) leap to get me interested in this stuff.

Physics was no different.  Why call something “antimatter” – isn’t that just “nothing”?  I learned about the “Big Bang Theory” on CBS, not in class.  “Dark matter” is when the electric company fails me once again and “Critical Mass”, to me, is when I am twenty pounds overweight.  Suffice it to say this was not critical knowledge to me.  And the concepts seemed impossible to learn.  So what did I do – what every industrious grade-centered student would do – I cheated.

Luckily, I had a few things going for me in both classes.  We were seated alphabetically and, after L comes M (see, I learned my alphabet because I thought that knowledge would come in handy one day).  M was very, very smart.  He’s a doctor today.  The tests were all multiple choice and I had a good sight angle from my eyes to his answers.  We were together in both classes.  Add to that the fact that my chemistry teacher was the basketball coach (I was the starting point guard) and the physics teacher was the football coach (I was the starting quarterback) and, maybe, just maybe, they did not want to catch me.  All I know is that I passed both subjects with Bs (I was smart enough not to use all of the good doctor’s answers).

I may have gotten just payback, however, before entering college.  I took the Advanced Placement tests in English, math, and Spanish.  English and math came easy – Spanish, not so much.  The entire test was in Spanish including the directions – again, it was multiple choice.  I just guessed.  To my amazement, I scored so high, I was placed in Spanish 3 and Spanish 4 instead of the introductory courses in college.  No one ever spoke a word of English in either class.  I tried to talk my way out of it, but offered up my argument in English, which I am not sure the professor understood.  So for two semesters, I did not know what anyone was saying. I got Ds.

Lest you think I am stupid (and you probably do by now), I won the Shakespeare prize and was elected to the English Honor Society.  I also was Moravian’s Scholar-Athlete in 1968.  I did well when I thought I was learning important things.

Rest assured, with all the cheating that is in the news this week, I am happy to get this off my chest.  I feel better and, oh, yeah, what can anyone do now?  Remember, there’s the “Statute of Limitations”.  Ha! Ha! Ha!

ABOVE THE EARS (SOME MUSINGS) 

  1. Andy Reid is back in the Super Bowl. 15 years ago Reid’s Eagles took on the New England Patriots.  There were clock management problems in that game again for Reid, something Eagles’ fans never were willing to forgive throughout his stay in Philadelphia.  You may not remember that Kyle Shanahan was the offensive coordinator for the Falcons three years ago when the Falcons gave up a 28-3 lead to the Patriots and ended up losing 34-28.  Articles will remind both coaches of those failed outcomes in the next two weeks.  The good news is one of them WILL win a Super Bowl.
  1. The Chiefs are in the Super Bowl for the first time since 1970 – that’s right – 50 years ago. Andy Reid was 11 years old.  The Chiefs beat the Minnesota Vikings that year 23-7.  It was Super Bowl IV.  Hank Stram was the coach.
  1. The 49ers won their first in 1982 when they beat the Cincinnati Bengals 26-21. Bill Walsh was the head coach.  They won four more after that in 1985, 1989, 1990, and 1995.  They lost to the Baltimore Ravens in 2013.
  1. Is there a more inconsistent team in the NBA than the 76’ers? They now have won three straight without Joel Embiid.  By next week’s end, I could be talking about a three-game losing streak – that’s just who they are.
  1. RCN-TV will bring you Allen at Liberty basketball on Tuesday and Easton at Allen followed by Central at Parkland on Friday night. Our Lafayette schedule includes the Lafayette men taking on Army on Wednesday night at 7:00pm and the Lafayette women playing Lehigh on Saturday at 2:00pm.  The EPC wrestling championship will be held on Saturday at 7:00pm.  We will have the wrestling LIVE.

GARY’S GUESSES (LAST WEEK – 2-0)  (YEAR-TO-DATE) – 174-90-1  (66%) 

SUPER BOWL PICK NEXT WEEK

Gary Laubach About Gary Laubach

Gary began his broadcasting career with Twin County in 1972. Twin County eventually became C-TEC and then RCN. Gary holds the dual role of Director of Media Services and Sports Director/Broadcaster. He currently broadcasts about 140 sports and entertainment broadcasts a year, and oversees the scheduling of all sporting events for RCN.

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